I don't really know if I should get into any back story as it will all come out later anyway, I guess. So I'll pretend like today is the first day of my existence.
Ralph has been back at work full-time for two days now. April is 2 1/2 months old so I guess that makes me pretty lucky. I enjoy spending all day alone with her. I don't enjoy not being able to eat or take a shower or get dressed in a timely manner. I feel bad when Ralph comes home for lunch and I throw the baby at him so I can take a five minute shower and scarf a frozen Healthy Choice lunch. And he takes her when he gets home at night while I cook dinner and try to get some cleaning done. I don't have it all down quite yet. It's too hard to lay her down and let her cry so I can get some stuff done. First child yadda yadda...plus something about just having her here. I appreciate every second with her. I can honestly say I have never gotten frustrated with her or her neediness. I assume that comes from losing Julian. I would have done anything to have him demanding to be held all day long. Anyway, she's actually in her crib right now. Kind of wimpering. She's so tired but she's fighting it because she'd rather be laying in our bed with me.
On Monday I am going into the office all day. Yep, 8 hours. I have a lot to do before the interns come in next week. I haven't worked (other than short meetings and small projects out of the house) since mid-September, so I have a lot to get in order. Ralph's mom will be coming over to watch April. It's great to have a free babysitter, but it's going to be hard for me to leave her all day long. Well I'm sure I'll come home for lunch. But stillllllllllllllll....
I bet I'll cry.
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